I have seen trends in the wedding business change over the past 25 years. One of the newer developments comes from magazines and hotels telling brides what the precise time allotment for their wedding day should be.
What is specifically alarming to me is that they frequently recommend a 6-hour package for wedding receptions – only – not including the wedding ceremony. It is alarming – because it is crucial to end your wedding celebration … before everyone stops celebrating. 
A “wedding reception” is currently defined as your cocktail hour, dinner and dancing combined. An example of the most popular timing for weddings, until recent years, has been to have your wedding ceremony at 5:30 ( at the church ) and your reception to follow from 7:00 – midnight. This happened because the ceremony was always at the church. And I do I mean always.
In the mid-1990’s brides began to have their ceremony “on site” – which means at their reception venue. Wedding industry professionals have not yet come together and let people know the best timing solution for a ceremony on site.
The format I like to see is a total of 6 hours for an on-site wedding ceremony and wedding reception. It works well like this: The first 30 minutes are for music to be played while friends and family are arriving. Pre-ceremony music is very important. Don’t just dive in without it.
The next 30 minutes are for your wedding ceremony.
The following hour is for cocktails, while you are off doing pictures. At the end of cocktails, is your grand entrance, first dance, blessing, toast, and dinner. Ending at 6 hours from when your pre-ceremony music began will almost always time out perfectly.
It is of excruciating importance that you end your celebration before it begins to go south. Every celebration, including yours, comes to a point where the energy has reached the top of the plateau, and begins to teeter over the edge … and head down the other side of mount happiness. At this point, the dancing slows to a trickle with just a few couples, or even worse … nobody on the dance floor.
This coincides with the slow and steady mass exodus from your celebration. Two by two, they keep waiting for their chance when there is no one actively saying goodbye to you. They seize the moment, leaping from their chairs to try and get to you before any one of the other pooped and droopy couples do.
Sometimes, while this is happening a tipsy newlywed couple will come to me and ask “how much for another hour?” Instead of asking where they have been for the past hour, I gently inform them, that now is the time to say good night and release their guests. These guests had great food, great drinks, great dancing, great everything. Now, they are exhausted and fatigue is threatening to force them off the road on the way home. It’s important to end your wedding day – before – your guests get to that point … before they are sneaking out, or passing out … before …
Plan that your reception will end while your guests are still dancing and having a great time- because that is how they will remember your wedding day.
Here are three very important words – a mantra that I repeat over and over to brides and grooms while planning their celebration, “THROW THEM OUT!” Before the party has a chance to go the other way – throw them out – and they will remember your celebration as one of the great ones!!
For a wedding reception with no ceremony on site, the best duration is 5 hours. When the ceremony is on site, 6 hours (with the first 30 minutes filled with pre-ceremony music) is ample time.
If, when it is time for your final dance of the celebration, no one has left and you can feel the electricity in the room, then okay, you may want to dare to try another 30 minutes at a time and see how your guests are holding up. But do not take the advice of the hotels and magazines that have you start with a 6-hour package for your reception only. It will most likely end your celebration on a low note. Tell them you want 5 hours and will let them know on the “day of” if you think it’s best to add more time.
Curtis Knight
Curtis Knight Entertainment
http://www.curtisknight.com
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Filed under: DJs, Weddings | Tagged: Event Timing, Wedding Timing
